Positive Beats Depression

I personally know what depression feels like, I felt depression the first time after having my son, I struggled with it for about 3 years. 2 years in i finally gave into giving medicine a try. I was put on citalopram 20mg and eventually went to 40mg. I am at 40mg now and fell i'm ready to be weaned down to 20 for a little while then 10, then wean off completely. I want to wean myself like this because i had bad experience quitting cold turkey. I will never do that willingly again. It put me right back into Depression. I don't think medicine is the best route unless you are so low your considering opting out of life. 

Depression can make you lose joy in everything you do in life, It strips you away slowly. You start to wonder who you are, will life get better? I got so depressed for so long I forgot what it felt like to not be depressed. I never attempted suicide, I had to much to live for. My son, fiance, the rest of my family and ME. I got to the point where I did nothing all day, but take care of my son. I was a stay at home mom and still am. I would get anxiety and panic attacks. At first I didn't know what I was going through, My chest would tighten up and start pounding rapidly. my vision started acting funny and i got bad migraines, I also got dizzy.  I made multiple doctor visits without any solutions, I really thought something was wrong with me. I started believing I had cancer or i was gonna have a stroke (I would get numb on the left side of my face/body from migraines). When  I was younger my dad got cancer and i wouldn't leave his side while he was in the hospital, i missed school to stayed in the hospital. I went to all radiation treatments but one because my dad made me take a day to myself. He pulled through it and is cancer free today.  I think him having cancer brought a fear that I was gonna get it someday. My parents were over at my house because they were worried about me. I started to have an anxiety attack right in the middle of our conversation. My chest tightened, I started getting dizzy, my visions started to get white and narrow and I couldn't hardly breathe. My dad witnessed my anxiety, I didn't know it was anxiety at the time. I always tried to keep what was happening inside because my mom would ask me 100 questions (because she cares lol). My dad told me he went through the same thing when he was my age. I finally figured out what was going on, I went back to the doctors and she wanted to put me on antidepressants. I told her I wasn't ready to be put on them, I wanted to do this on my own. I went home and found out all i could about anxiety and how to control it. I kept fighting anxiety but i still felt this really dark cloud over me. I went another year fighting It and finally gave in to antidepressants.  I was diagnosed with severe depression. I started with 10mg and waited for them to start working. 

When they started working i was able to laugh again, but it was only about every other day (better then being sad everyday). It was like this for months until I thought I could do this without the medicine, I quit cold turkey, that was a big mistake. I felt so icky, I didn't want to get out of bed, I would cry all day. I went back to the doctor and was put on 40 mg. I was so determined to beat this stupid depression/ anxiety, it has controlled my life for to long. I realized the medicine wont do it all by itself , I realized i was looking at my life in such a negative way. I was always a glass empty kind of gal, I wanted to love life again. 

 I started to change my outlook in life, I was always harsh on myself and suffered from low self-esteem.

Love Yourself

I started with learning to love myself and letting go of all my mistakes in life, You have to love yourself if you want happiness. You can't be happy 24/7 because us humans have to feel bad to really know and enjoy the good. The hard times let us reflect on our lives and to be able to make changes for the better. The next one I had a hard time achieving. Stop negative self talk. Replace it with positive self talk, tell yourself everyday how beautiful/handsome you are,  how smart and talented you are. Stand in front of the mirror and tell yourself out loud all your positive features,  don't even mention the negative (that can be tough). Appearances are not the most important aspect to us humans, our inner self is so much more important. Treat yourself like you would treat your best friend, Become your best friend (that doesn't mean you can't keep your best friends now lol). You want to stop being the victim and start creating your life. You are capable of anything and everything, your mind is way more powerful than one can imagine. your mind can make you sick if you focus on that sickness, if you act a victim you are a victim. Some might feel that pride is bad but I personally think it is good to be proud of yourself.

Love Others

The old saying is right, treat others how you want to be treated. Don't judge others because you have no clue
what they are going through in life. We need to grow a larger understanding of others and learn to accept them as them. people are afraid of love, real love. unconditional where no matter what they do they will love them. We are meant to love, enjoy and to create in this life, we need to accept others for who they are. We are all the same, we all came from the same source, we are all in this together but, it seems everyone has forgotten this. Every person you meet has something special to give you—that is, if you are open to receiving it. Each encounter offers you the gift of greater self-awareness by illustrating what you do and don’t accept about yourself. An honest look will show you that the reactions you have to others give you more information about yourself than about them.

                                                  Create

Creating can make you feel so good and accomplished, even if its silly little things. Doll houses made from cardboard for your daughter or another precious kid. They will feel special you made something handmade for them. I feel so good when I complete my drawings. Its a feeling I can't describe. Its about the creation process. The feeling you get when you make things out of nothing. Eventually you can make a career with enough determination and belief in yourself. If you never give up, you will not fail. Hardly anyone achieves their goals on their first try. They achieve because when things go rough they don't give up and keep going until they achieve. The only limits we have are the limits we put on ourselves. creating doesn't have to be limited, create the life you have been dying to live.

Enjoy What You Do

Find the things that make you feel the happiest, freest, and most satisfied when your doing them. That doesn't mean neglect the house because you don't feel like cleaning. there are challenges that don't seem fun will help achieve a lot. you want to create your own fun, turn on the radio and dance around while cleaning. Make the best out of your situation, there is always good and bad in every thing, so, focus on the good in every situation.                                                                                                                                                  
                                                                                                                                                                                  
 We have the power to change ourselves, It all is everyone of us. The power is our minds, change your mind set and be the YOU, you want to be.